Give Me Peace
by Ladyamesindy
Summary: Commander Shepard was lost over Alchera. Unbeknownst to Kaidan Alenko, she was retrieved by Cerberus and brought back to live again via the Lazarus Project. What if Miranda had successfully convinced The Illusive Man to allow her to implant a control chip in Commander Shepard?


_Cronos, 2186_

The war had been hard fought to this point, but they both knew it would eventually boil down to a battle just between the two of them. Friend and foe at the same time. Past and present. Love and hate. It hadn't always been this way, of course, but that hadn't mattered in a long while. And, as much as she might have wished things had been different, there was nothing she could do to change it. All because of one damned idea, one tiny piece of technology that the Illusive Man had agreed upon.

Their encounters before today had, more or less, ended in draws. No winner, no loser. Each remained to continue on in the next confrontation. Places like Horizon, the Citadel, Thessia … and now Cronos. But, if things went the way she knew they probably would, this would be the last time. One of them would not be walking away from this.

Biotics flaring, explosions that sounded more like heavy artillery concussing the air around them, the battle was engaged. Shots rang out and deflected off of walls and other parts of the room. Shepard saw the asari go down, injured but not severely wounded, and felt secret relief. The soldier, all brawn and muscle and damned good instincts, took a hit to his leg and dropped. A moment later, EDI, too, suffered injury of a sort, and withdrew. With each fallen warrior, the opportunity moved closer.

And so it was down to the two of them, one final battle against the other as it should be. So many times over the past months she'd wanted to send him a message, to explain to him that it wasn't really _HER_ doing this, but there hadn't been an opportunity to do so without the Illusive Man finding out. And find out, he would. As things stood, the Illusive Man was sure to know her true feelings in regards to her opponents' injuries. And now ….

Arm to arm, grappling the other in hand to hand combat, biotics used up, ammunition run out, now was the time.

"Kaidan," she gasped, their faces near enough he could hear her soft grunt, "I -"

"Don't!" he hissed back, struggling to find an advantage somewhere. "_You _don't get to call me that - only _she_ did. I don't know who you are, but you aren't _HER_!"

"I _AM!_" she returned, meeting and matching his every move. Time was slowing down a bit, she had a chance, if only he would listen. "Kaidan - I am her … but I'm not. It's … it's a control chip. I can't … he won't …" A sharp pain hit her then, the back of her neck, the base of her head, shooting through and reminding her of what needed to be done. "No!" she wailed, hand reaching to the back of her neck, clawing at the armor and then skin there. "Make it stop!"

Kaidan watched her drop to her knees, her fingers trying to dig at the flesh there. _Could it be?_ he wondered. _Dare he take a chance? So much was at stake …._

"Kai - Kaidan!"

He dropped to his knees beside her, met the wild-eyed look she gave him. "Do … it! You know you must!" she pleaded. She saw the confusion in his eyes. Eyes dropping to his left arm, she nodded. "It … must be done," she gasped. "It's .. the only … way."

She could tell he finally understood when his eyes widened in shock. "Shepard …."

"Please!" she begged. Another stab of agony had her doubling over, curling into a tight ball, screaming and writhing in pain. "Now!" She could feel the surge of adrenaline, the kick of drugs or whatever it was that never failed to force her to do his bidding whenever he demanded it.

Kaidan saw the change pass over her eyes, the darkness settling in, the grim determination to do whatever it required to win settling on her features. As it overtook her, he saw her pull back her arm, the omni-tool blade flaring to life instantly, and he reacted without thinking. His own blade glaring brightly, he slammed it into her chest, biting his lip and tasting blood as her cry of pain echoed throughout the room. Pulling back from her, he set her down, eyes dropping to meet hers one last time, but at least they were the normal blue-green he remembered from happier times, not the red-hazed orbs he'd faced off against of late. "Shepard?" he breathed, numbness settling over him.

Her hand reached out, grasping his. Eyes closing, she whispered, "Thank you … for setting me … free …."

He waited for her last breath to ease from her body before he rose to his feet. Turning away, he gestured to his team. "Let's go. We've got a war to finish."

* * *

_London, 2186_

The shift from dark to light, from night to day, was so drastic that Kaidan had to lift his arm to protect his eyes from the glare. But … where was he? The last thing he recalled clearly was firing his weapon at the device, of marching towards it, certain to destroy the thing so that the Reapers would be rid of once and for all … and then the world had exploded all around him, leaving him with … nothing.

"Hey, LT!" a vaguely familiar voice called to him from the distance. "Over here!"

Turning, he saw a hand waving in his direction, gesturing him across the room. Following it, he realized he was in a bar of some sort, familiar uniforms, if not faces, filling the place. "Ash?" he breathed as he reached his destination.

Williams laughed delightedly as he recognized her. "Took you long enough to get here," she teased, nodding to the empty seat next to her. Then a bit more soberly, "I'm just sorry it had to be so soon." The contradiction in what she said was not lost on him.

Kaidan was confused. Taking a good look around the room, he realized several things. First, it was a bar, more or less, of indeterminable size. There could be as few as ten or as many as several hundred already present, though he did not recognize anyone but his friend. Second, the brightness that had bothered his eyes earlier had faded to a less intense level. Third … he felt no hint of a migraine as such bright lights, loud noises and surroundings normally would have triggered.

The question remained, though … where was he?

Garrus' words came back to him then … _"If this thing goes sideways … meet me at the bar …."_

Head spinning back around, Kaidan met Ash's gaze. "I'm dead?" he asked. The smile on her face was sad, but she nodded. Acceptance, he found, was … easy. As was the next thought that passed over him. "Then … is she …."

"Hey there, Major," a familiar voice greeted him. He turned, rising to his feet to meet her. Her hand lifted, passing him a bottle. "Maybe now we can talk without interruption?"

"Shepard …."

"Right," Ash broke in, rising to give Shepard her seat, "I think that's my cue to leave. See you later, kids!" Before any protests could be raised, she was halfway across the room, hand raised in greeting of someone else.

They sat together, eyes meeting, full and complete understanding coming instantly. His hand lifting hers, he pulled it close, holding it to his cheek. "Shepard …."

She leaned in towards him, a soft smile turning at her lips. "We have all the time we need now," she told him. "You gave me peace."

* * *

_Huge thanks to Yarnandtea for giving this a look over for me ... and for putting up with my moments of angst and all things dark and dreary!_


End file.
